Existentialist Hues

"A world that can be explained by reasoning, however faulty, is the familiar world. But in a universe, that is suddenly deprived of illusions and of light, man feels a Stranger...It is this divorce between man and his life, actor and it's setting that truly constitutes the theme of absurdity." -Camus.

By misleading life to believe that we want to live, we at times cause life to leave, insisting upon ourselves a rejection caused by life (Like Meursault did). Katherine Mansfeild's twilight vision "The Sea is Stormy, Everything is at the Sea", ...a storm that tumults and is a turbulent life force, leading to the self realisation ...we are all strangers to ourselves; as Kafka observes "Life remains an empty interrogated chamber". True revolt against absurdity? No, not in death but continuing to live, pushing it to the extreme :Man's true DEATH.


Yet Camus believed that We all want to live and be happy but life offers us none of that chance. Period.

In Memoriam..

It's orgasmic to see how people die ...their presence .... in your life. Yet they are alive. It's terrible to feel how you live in their conscious conscience yet die in their ....moments. It's perhaps vulnerable to think how deep their touch had been like a necromancer's magic mirror reflecting all your intense blood. You want to touch that mirror and taste that blood but like fleeting ephemeral dust they evaporate. ....the moments die an untimely death like you did inside me. I killed you. Yet, in some other solitary night shall we meet when you meet me alive in my words , soliloquies and asides.


I may know a previous you or a later you. But but. .but the you of this ....these moments is dead. I killed you.